Get this from a library! Soulacoaster: the diary of me. [R Kelly; David Ritz] -- Who is R. Kelly? Three-time Grammy winner, who has sold more than 35 million. 21, There’s a scene early in Soulacoaster: The Diary Of Me, R. Kelly’s amusingly named memoir, which seems to anticipate the singer’s future. At a certain point in church, young Kelly “got a little bored with the songs.”. Kelly’s aunt heard him, slapped him “upside the head,” and. Sep 27, DOWNLOADFreeSoulacoaster: The Diary of MeByR. Kelly(DownloadEbook)# epub.

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Apr 10, Soulacoaster: A Diary of Me by R. Kelly. I have so many feelings about this book and I bounced between throwing my copy across the room and. Read and Download Ebook B.o.o.k Soulacoaster: The Diary Of Me PDF. B.o.o.k Soulacoaster: The Diary of Who is R. Kelly? Three-time Grammy winner, who. Book title: Soulacoaster: The Diary of Me Sіzе: MB Fоrmаts: pdf, ipad, audio , epub, android, ebook, text. Date: Authоr: R. Kelly, David Ritz.

I wanted to be on top of the Sears Tower. I wanted to be as strong as the Sears Tower feels. When my mom would be on the highway, I would always look at the Sears Tower as: That's where I want to go, that's where I want to be. Kelly have been brief, and restrictions have often been imposed, fences rung around the subjects he wouldn't discuss. Not today. As yet, I'm not really sure why he's changed his mind. The simplest reason, of course, would be that he's innocent of anything he has ever been accused of—in that case the mystery would be why he has sidestepped real conversations for so long.

Though of course, not everyone who chooses to be silent is hiding something. Maybe, whatever the reason for his reticence, he has come to realize that it is doing him more harm than good. Maybe his times of trouble seem so far behind him that he can't see any way they can hurt him now.

Maybe he's just convinced that R. Kelly can ride through any challenge. Maybe he's confident that he has a good answer for any question he'll face, or maybe he doesn't yet realize the kinds of questions that he will be facing.

Maybe he hasn't thought it through at all.

There's a common way that journalists often choose to approach encounters like this. Ask all the easy stuff first. Get on the subject's good side, get their confidence. Leave the tricky stuff until late in the last interview, when everything else is safely asked and answered, and then grab what you can. Advertisement That's not how I'm doing this. First, if he isn't prepared to engage in some kind of serious discussion on the more difficult parts of his life, then I can't see how there can be a significant article about R.

Kelly in that is worth printing. Second, it would make me feel spineless and undignified. I've read, listened to, and watched every other R. Kelly interview I could find, and too often what happens is that if interviewers mention anything at all, what they do is make a perfunctory little raid on the subject, touching it just to say they did.

Why play around? He knows, at least to some degree, what's coming.

He's a grown man, 48 years old. He's stood on a thousand stages and sat through a criminal trial. I know it's not going to be a comfortable conversation, but surely the most respectful way to have it is to get on and have it.

So, walking in here, that is my plan. The ninety-ninth floor appears to be completely bare. In the huge rectangular room where we meet, there are only two places to sit. One is on some sofas over in the far corner. Kelly chooses the other option. And so we sit facing each other, at a small round table set in the middle of the large empty space on the lakeward side of the tower, glass on three sides of us.

It looks like a surreal over-the-top set for an interrogation scene in an action movie. Before we begin, Kelly tries to prop up his phone on the table between us, to record the conversation—I am as well—but it keeps sliding and falling over. First of all, before anything else, I want to talk with him about his childhood, and in particular some tough aspects of it that seem central to whom he has become.

For one thing, his inability to read.

My stepfather wasn't really interested in it one way or another. And my brothers and sisters were so young at the time they wouldn't do nothing but tease me about it. You can't even read!

It was so confusing. And then I would end up getting really sleepy and tired. And I can voice-text and say whatever I want to people.

And then they text me back and I take my time and I can read through it. He grew up without a father, gone before Kelly was born, and his mother wouldn't talk about him. My father. I would definitely say it affected me deeply as a young man, coming up. Who doesn't want a father? Those are the beginnings, and those are what can dictate the roads you choose in life, and choosing them well. And it affected me.

He says that until he mentioned it in his memoir, Soulacoaster, he had never told anyone at all about the sexual abuse that he experienced. Not even his ex-wife Andrea? The more I became successful. Kelly the world would know—the one who would sell more than 30 million albums, have 36 Billboard Hot hits, invent his own strange musical language, write hits for countless others, and conceive one of the weirdest syntheses of video and music of all time, Trapped in the Closet—would be someone else.

Contact sexual—no. A visual—absolutely. A visual from him showing me his penis and all that stuff. He doesn't say this as though he expects it to be any kind of revelation to me, more as though he assumes I already know it.

I wonder if he even realizes she wasn't described like that in the book. I remember feeling ashamed. I remember closing my eyes or keeping my hands over my eyes.

I remember those things, but couldn't judge it one way or the other fully. I remember actually, after a couple of years, looking forward to it sometimes.

Soulacoaster: The Diary of Me

You know, acting like I didn't, but did. It became a regular thing. Every other day, every other week. Something like that. Then I started getting older and knowing that's just not supposed to happen—family members. And I think it started getting scary for them because I just started acting really different about it, and I think it became a turnoff to them, and a scary thing. I'm still successful, and I've got an album out now, I'm gonna move on after this interview and go to the next interview.

R. Kelly, 'Soulacoaster: The Diary Of Me' Excerpt: Singer Recalls Inspirational Teacher

But eventually they stopped being around me. Didn't want to talk about it. Didn't own up to it. But it was definitely not a dream. As I'm older, I look at it and I know that it had to be not just about me and them, but them and somebody older than them when they were younger, and whatever happened to them when they were younger.

I looked at it as if there was a sort of like, I don't know, a generational curse, so to speak, going down through the family. Not just started with her doing that to me. Kelly, a man who has been accused of multiple sexual offenses against underage girls, has just explained that he believes the sexual abuse he suffered is something that is passed down from generation to generation, so that in each new generation, victim becomes perpetrator. Once he has said these words, and they are hanging in the air between us, it just seems impossible to imagine that he won't at least address the obvious question—the question, he must surely realize, that anyone reading this would immediately ask: By that logic, wouldn't that make you the next in the cycle of child molesters?

If only to disavow it or sidestep it. But he says nothing. I know I'll need to return to this, but given the awfulness of what he is sharing, now is not the time. Instead, this is how the conversation continues: Advertisement Obviously you know that in the cold light of day what they were doing was a crime. Do you wish they had been held to account for that? As I'm older, I've only learned to forgive it.

Was it wrong? But it's a family member that I love so I would definitely say no to that one. Do you relate to that? It teaches you to definitely be sexual earlier than you should have, than you're supposed to.

You know, no different than putting a loaded gun in a kid's hand—he gonna grow up being a shooter, probably. I think it affects you tremendously when that happens at an early age. To be more hornier. Your hormones are up more than they would normally be. Mine was. In a lot of ways, absolutely.

I think so. There are no particularly easy ways to ask a man about his alleged relationships with underage girls, but at least the story of R.

Kelly and Aaliyah offers a reasonably direct way in. Soon after his initial success, he began writing and producing songs for other artists. I was making my own records and doing all the music—I didn't even know that that meant producing.

Then when I found out I could do that, I didn't just want to make myself great, I wanted to make others great. In Kelly's case it was They appeared together in interviews and videos. Then Vibe magazine printed what appeared to be a marriage certificate they had discovered that showed Kelly and Aaliyah had been married in Rosemont, Illinois, on August 31, Though she was 15, the certificate stated that she was The marriage reportedly was formally annulled some months later, Aaliyah and Kelly never worked together again, and they were never seen together after this period.

Aaliyah died in a plane crash after a video shoot in the Bahamas when she was Neither Kelly nor Aaliyah, before her death, has ever publicly confirmed these details, but their truth has never been credibly challenged; even in the Lifetime channel's carefully sanitized Aaliyah biopic, her father threatens to have Kelly charged with statutory rape. Advertisement The fullest version of what may have happened—and the most convincing one, for all its incidental detail and accidental nuance—is in a rambling memoir by a man named Demetrius Smith, who worked in various capacities for Kelly before and after he became famous, until they had a falling out.

The week of the marriage, Smith recounts being in Miami on tour with Kelly, and how Kelly explained that he had received a distraught phone call from Aaliyah, saying she had run away from home, believing she was pregnant.

Smith says that Kelly was then given some specious advice—that he could protect himself from the legal ramifications of the situation by marrying her. Smith's account of what happened next: During a break in the tour, Smith and Kelly flew together to Illinois; Smith procured a fake state ID for Aaliyah from a friend in the Public Aid office, and they got a backup ID through someone they knew at Federal Express.

That night, after the ceremony in a suite at a Sheraton hotel, Kelly and Smith flew back to Miami to resume the tour. As complicated as the full story may be, the situation, as it reflects on Kelly now, is fairly simple.

He either was or was not married to, and in a sexual relationship with, a year-old girl. If he wasn't, why not just say so? What possible reason could there be for refusing to?

Kelly never does. They feel almost just dropped in. He overcame the odds, did the unthinkable, made it through New Jack Swing, and came out on the other end with a pile of accomplishments and legit name-dropping Michael Jackson, Jordan, Tupac, Biggie Smalls, etc.

Kelly can be a total idealist when it comes to storytelling. The name-drops, and their corresponding anecdotes, which could have been interesting, probably had to be the most laughable part of this read for me. Bumping into Tupac was an even better scene. And you gotta love when names like Ronald Isley or Fat Joe show up looking for a hit.

He name-dropped OJ Da Juiceman more than once, which is too many times.

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I found this book imminently difficult to make myself read. Thank god for all the images and truncated pages, making it blessedly shorter than it originally appeared.

I mean, come ON. I understand stretching the details for a memoir but, man, he just seemed to be making that up. Half-baked theory: R. Lin or the people who were present and formative in his childhood, development as an artist, etc.

Do I just really want to believe him? Kelly makes the distinction between R. The R. Kelly fairy tale, on the other hand, is one in which heartbreaking, life-altering setbacks are overcome in the span of two or three pages, as if by the snapping of fingers. How did that play out for you. When he was in school—even just 30 years ago—his type of disability could easily go undiagnosed, and he shows all the signs of someone hiding or coping with illiteracy for example, avoidance and memorization.

What irked me was the fact that the adults around him really let him down. Apart from a brief passage that described his mother trying to teach him, it seemed like she and Ms.

McLin his music teacher were far more concerned with promoting his singing than his education. Kelly-tinted glasses. If so, then they taught him to sing but helped to deny him a type of basic human dignity. JDL: Matt, do you hate R. I hate Soulacoaster.He refused to back down. I wanted to be as strong as the Sears Tower feels.

Omission was a big thing, also.

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You know, the strength that it carries. I was numb from the news. And then there would be his other albums.

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